Don’t let the title fool you – there’s very little real love on display in Andrew Lloyd Webber’s bizarre tale of boy meets girl meets uncle meets mistress…

Adapted from the 1955 British novella by David Garnett, Webber’s musical begins in Paris in the 1940’s, where aforementioned boy Alex meets (older) girl, aspiring actress Rose. Boy convinces girl to run away into the countryside with him, where uncle George turns up, and a 17-year rollercoaster of emotions (pretty much all but love) ensues.

It’s a difficult musical, because we come away not really caring for any of the disturbed characters – despite some commendable performances. Grant Smith as debonair uncle George brings a lovely charisma to the stage, and Stefanie Jones is a magnetic force as Giulietta. Caitlin Berry comes into her own as the older, more maternal Rose, and Jonathan Hickey is endearing as a young smitten Alex, but loses his grip on the material a little later on.

They are supported by an impressively large ensemble – the cast numbers 16 all up – which, for the tiny Hayes space, is indeed impressive. Even more so? The 12-piece band squeezed into the back, nicely conducted by MD Geoffrey Castles. The ensemble makes the most of their smaller roles, delightfully staying in character during scene changes – orchestrated no doubt by director Andrew Bevis and Nathan M Wright’s musical staging.

Steven Smith’s set is smart but also charming, and is danced smoothly and efficiently around the space by the cast. Tim Chappel’s costumes are sumptuous, detailed and full.

Webber’s undeniable style permeates this musical, with many echoes to Phantom and other well-known ditties clearly audible in the score. Don Black and Charles Hunt wrote the lyrics, most of which fail to connect. Aspects of Love’s Broadway run is widely considered one of the great musical theatre flops, and without Webber’s name attached it probably would have faded into oblivion, or not even seen the light of day to begin with.

There’s a truckload of plot to get through in 2.5 hours, and the company and creative team give the production their all. But it’s an absurd, clumsy story that’s oddly devoid of real love, given the title, and there’s little to convince us that we shouldn’t miss it.

Playing at the Hayes Theatre until 30 December.

Alana Kaye – Theatre Now